| who knew? |
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| 02:26pm 08/10/2008 |
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mood:  accomplished
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it's been 2+ years since i've posted in lj and i remembered my password!! i don't know about you, but it was an impressive moment for me! looking at my lj has been like tearing through old boxes of childhood stuffed animals and really bad school photos. things that i loved remembering..and things that i could've done without.
anyways, these days i'm quite calm and happy. hollie and i live together in nh where every day i find myself appreciating life. i'm working at this swanky retirement community and looking foward to them helping me pay for school! i definately miss the few friends i had in tampa and both my sisters, but i'm happy to call this place my home. the land is constantly changing with the weather and it's so beautiful! when you grow up in florida, you never get a real understanding of the fact that there are 4 seasons! i've definately enjoyed looking out the bedroom window to see nothing but white, or vibrant green, or all the different colors of leaves...like it is now! obviously i'm still a big nerd. that's something i suppose will never change!
well, i guess that's it for now. i'm not going to say "i'll try to be better at posting" bc i know i wont. i'm sure another one will come in the next couple of years though!! |
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(i dont care) |
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| hhmm |
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| 12:58am 28/05/2006 |
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mood:  contemplative music: joni mitchell
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so i guess it's possible to do an internet "nudge" these days? and here i am posting in this thing b/c i've been nudged!! i never post b/c i never have too much to say. i work, i play music, i play catch w/ my pup, and hang out w/ friends....that's really about it. i'm going camping again in july in nc..that's exciting for me atleast. getting out of tampa, getting out of fl, getting away from a crazy, angry, loud civilization for a few days....and wishing it could be longer. sometime soon i will be in the woods for atleast a month!! yay, now you're up to date...
why does contemplating look like it's a sad mood? |
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(2 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| so |
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| 10:59am 03/06/2005 |
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mood:  crushed music: the rain which doesn't want to seem to stop
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in less than a month my life has taken a complete turn for the opposite. alli broke up w/ me a day or two ago and is seeing someone else. it's looks as though i wont be staying in tampa..i'm going up to pa for a few months so i don't drive myself insane down here. i suppose life is just crazy like this sometimes and you have to deal w/ shit the best that you can. my way to deal is to go to pa and hang out w/ the amish ppl down at the walmart i guess. nothing else to say i guess w/o going into detail and making myself hysterical again. |
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(3 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| please go away |
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| 03:47pm 29/05/2005 |
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mood:  hungry music: erin mckeown
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i didn't get out of bed today until nearly 12:30. i've fallen victim to an incredibly intense headache that will not go away. it started a couple days ago and has been on and off since. yesterday i spent most of the day in the ridiculously hot sun putting together a shed in the backyard. then when i went to put the new grill in the shed i realized that the bottom grate of the grill was missing..so i had to go all the way back to bfe to pick it up. around 5 i was finally able to lay down before alli came home w/ her friend to make dinner...which was very very good...but required lots of dishes being made dirty..and since the dishwasher is broken i got to clean all of them when i woke up today. i guess that's why i'm called the housewife :P anyways, my headache has drifted off to just an annoying pain in my neck for now so i decided to try to make the best of my up time by posting...but looking at the screen has given opportunity to it coming back so back to the comfy couch i go. |
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(i dont care) |
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| killers |
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| 11:58am 21/05/2005 |
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mood:  disgusted music: tori
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i was reading the paper this morning and came across the story about the gay men who had been abducted and murdered. in the article it says you can read the affidavit online, so i did. there's conversations between the two men who are in custody that sound so cruel..yet so casual. the attorny for the one man, lorenzo, said "he's (lorenzo) not that type of man, he doesn't have it in him, there's no way he could've done this." i'm curious if he's even read the affidavit or remotely knows the evidence against his client. the charge of murder isn't on the table yet, but if i were his attorny i'd quickly urge a guilty/no constest plea. i hope this tragedy has opened the eyes of many. unless you're looking for death, or something near it...know who you're going home with or meeting up with. let your friends know what you're doing or where you're going. don't be a victim.
i know this post is out of the ordinary for me. i don't usually have much to say about what's in the news. this just hit a nerve or something though. nobody should have to go through what these men went through. nor should their families and friends. |
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(i dont care) |
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| wellll |
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| 08:24pm 20/05/2005 |
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mood:  dorky music: julie ruin
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i realized today that i've had this journal for somewhere around 4 years. yes, i've been bored today. i never update b/c there usually isn't much going and and most who would read already know what's going on. here's an update..i'm finally living in tampa..not "outside of tampa" which would've been my response in the past...but actually in tampa. i'm very very happy about that. also i have a new gf, her name is alli..she's a complete sweetheart and treats me better than i've been treated in years. we just moved in together and a cute little 1920's bungalow. the house is great..but lacks a much needed front porch. we're eventually going to have one built on..when we win the lottery that is. the kids names are shelby and louie. shelby is just over a year old and louie is around 10months. shelby is the dog and louie is the cat. so yeah, i suppose i'm living a ridiculously good life right now. heh, at one point in my life..if i'd of read an entry like this i would've wanted to hurl!! but i'm happy now. |
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(5 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| yay |
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| 06:14pm 22/09/2003 |
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mood:  amused music: tori
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i got a puppy. she's the cutest thing in the world. i think she's probably about 9wks old now..she's brown w/ a little white on her chest and floppy ears. we named her tosha bon. long story on the "bon" part. she's such a good puppy though. as i'm sitting here wasting time on the computer until v gets home i heard one of the animals eating downstairs...i started thinking..'hmm, i know tosha doesn't have any food left..and irey(the kitty) doesn't eat much hard food'..so i run down the stairs only to find irey looking as if i rudely interrupted her meal and tosha laying in the living looking up at me w/ her head cocked a bit. so yeah, i just had to voice that we not only have the coolest cat ever..but now the cutest puppy ever! i suppose that's all i really have to say since my last post ages ago :-P |
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(2 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| it's my party and i'll cry if i want to |
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| 03:12pm 31/10/2002 |
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mood:  mischievous music: buzzlightyear is on tv....woohoo
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it's my birthday today..woohoo. i think one of the first i've had in a while w/o a gf. that's okay though. i have good friends!! my dad took me out to dinner last night. after that we went back to his house and he gave me a....a....a....guitar. needless to say i'm very happy about this. another artistic outlet, there's not a better gift. so yeah, it's my birthday and i have an appt. w/ the psychologist at 7. i could cancel, but i don't really have any other plans, so why not? yep yep, this my day as of quaterafterthree.
and of course a test to take up space..you know, make it look like i spent time on this entry....
Which Sleater-Kinney Girl Are You?
not who i would've thought..but it works. |
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(5 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| 10:06pm 23/10/2002 |
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mood: depressed
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i am ill. gripping my insides, hoping that the pain subsides. i took an hour long bath today and cried my thoughts away..but they didn't stay. i've been haunted, for years, by my childish fears. the ones that keep me up all night..scared of the darkness. i'm a walking scar of a child-like life lost due to a child-like life hoping to grow from the pain he inflicts and pleasure that addicts. i am..unnoticed in my odd behavior for an eightyrold....walking and hiding, gripping my insides, hoping the pain subsides. |
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(2 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| bleh |
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| 08:22pm 20/10/2002 |
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mood:  bored
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so i'm terribly bored. jess and dani went to v's party. they looked cute though. jess is kind of like an old wise chinese man....and dani..well, she looks like an asian whore pretty much, but they're cute. anyways, i suppose kimmi is gonna come and pick me up around 10 or so to go to sacred. it's been too long since i've had my yummy boncha hochicha tea. hhmm, so i guess that's about it. my life is extremely boring right now and i can't handle it. all i want to do is sleep so the days go by faster. oh well. atleast i get to watch harry potter!! |
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(4 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| and the answer is.... |
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| 03:44pm 17/10/2002 |
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mood: iamyourenemysdaughter music: the tiger
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What 80's Cartoon Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i'm a colorful kid after all!! :P so yeah, i've been home from work not even an hour and i'm oh so bored. i go see the psychologist again at 7..how exciting is that?!?! i'm obviously in a very smartass mood. it's okay though, it's better to be a smartass than just an ass. although, i tend to be an ass a lot as well. *shrug* i suppose it's off to watch cartoons. if only cartoons these days were as rad as the cartoons of the 80s. |
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(i dont care) |
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| i've fallen victim |
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| 07:53pm 13/10/2002 |
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mood:  cynical music: nothing
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1. WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR LJ USERNAME?
it's kind of odd..i don't know what i was going through when i chose it..but kind of like a baby sucks on a bottle to be nurished....i suck on rock *shrug*
2. NAME FIVE [5] OF YOUR FAVORITE PIG-OUT FOODS.
1. after dinner mints
2. homefries and santafe sauce from work
3. phishfood
4. pasta
5. large consumptions of nicotine for those day when i don't eat at all
****i am so healthy
4. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES.
blah, blah, blah, and blah
Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
a lot of acid
5. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?
never left...highschool field trips weren't really my thing
6. ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY.
tic toc tic toc ..i'm gonna need to get back to you on this one
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY?
i guess my exgf bringing me a bagel and coffee every morning before school....i don't have many great memories
8. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU'VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR CRUSH THAT HE/SHE MIGHT NOT/MIGHT KNOW ABOUT?
nothing..i'm not insane
9. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.
i'm not getting married
10. WOULD YOU EVER JOIN TEMPTATION ISLAND?
nope
11. NAME THREE [3] TEACHERS YOU LIKED IN HIGH SCHOOL/ELEMENTARY.
ms.soderlin, ms.norman, and mrs.lamar
12. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE? WHAT IS IT?
"every time i see you falling, i get down on my knees and pray. i'm waiting for that final moment you say the words that i can't say"-frente
13. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN ...
heh..i don't get heartbroken
14. THE SCHOOL PICTURE YOU BURIED IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER?
i don't have any
15. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? WHAT ARE THEY?
too many..too wierd
16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
never thought too much about what i don't understand..just differences
17. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?
hm..well, there's a list..but i don't wanna fucking hurt anyone..so you know if you're on the list or not
18. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE.
none
19. IF YOU WERE FAMOUS, AND WERE TO BE A GUEST ON A TALK SHOW, WHOSE SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WHY?
conan
20. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME.
blah
21. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD SLEEPING HABITS?
ya
22. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS WINTER?
hopefully be in pa playing in the snow
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?
nothing
24. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG
"i'm worse than i seem"
25. DO YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE DISNEY SONG BY HEART? WHICH ONE?
yes..too many
26. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE.
see, it's this bubble..and it's in the hillsborough river..it's quite cozy
27. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR:
pajama pants and a tank top....average
28. WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?
i'm pretty much like allysheedy in breakfest club
29. WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?
some money, some numbers, and sentimental sappy shit that i need to get rid of
30. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW?
enough to buy tea
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?
i don't have a fav. pair
32. IF YOU COULD'VE GONE TO YOUR SENIOR PROM IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
i didn't go
33. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM?
oh it was so fabulous. me and my bf got a limo and then a hotel room and....oh wow..it was the most special special night of my life *tear*
34. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS.
my 18th....it was a big gay b-day. jess and whopk baked me a very rad cake and had a suprise party....it was cute
35. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF?
an ewok
36. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?
nothing....i would change one single thing about my life |
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(3 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| blah |
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| 02:24am 13/10/2002 |
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mood: depressed music: watching the movie......dahmer
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blahblahbllaaahhh blahblah blah blahblah |
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(1 whatyousaid | i dont care) |
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| sigh |
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| 04:42am 11/10/2002 |
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mood:  awake music: sinead o'conner
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and no that's not the type of ~sigh~ one might think. i'm so worn out right now. we just got back from a little get together of queer kids. first we went to the coffeeshop and i got some pretty good hot tea..i think i've finally found my next "usual"..then we went to go swimming. i actually had a pretty good time. i haven't been in water in such a long time. other than the fact that it's oct. and was hot enough to go swimming at 1am, i enjoyed it. then a venture for much needed 4am soda..and now here. it looks as if i wont be sleeping before work today. that's ok though, it was needed as well as worth it. so yeah, i've been doing all right. work is going well, my mood has been decent, and my heart has been feeling a little bit healthier. time to go watch a movie now. |
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(2 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| heartless |
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| 09:29pm 09/10/2002 |
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mood:  crappy
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i'm bored. i guess i'm going out tonight. that means i have to get ready soon. blah. i need to eat something..i haven't had anything all day. well, i don't have much to say i suppose..so i'm just gonna post a couple more things i wrote..they're blah..but i've gotta stick something on this thing....
eight-hundred miles
so this is where i stand
twenty-four hours
but lacking a few
from the time i said
this is what you do
you make me the angry girl
i never wanted to be
you make me lack control
of emotion
and this insane devotion
to the girl i wish you were
it's got me moving in slow motion
as you just move....faster and faster away
and this is where i still stand
in the "chill" part of yuppyville
where a hemp necklace and birkenstocks
will buy you a good conversation
and w/ your month old dreads you can
easily be..part of the elite
in w/ the cool kids
i claim to be happy i'm leaving this place
this city and state that's so easy to hate
i claim to be happy i wont be seeing you again
that this chapter of my life is coming to an end
eight-hundred miles..give or take a few
i'll be missing you
~~~~~~
over hills-stomach dropping
rollercoaster-gforce
plotting out a coarse
of downward disasters &
crubling plaster
from fists that aren't even yours
and here's the part where you say
"i'm sorry things are bad-
it'll be okay sweetie-
no no, please don't cry"
same routine
time and time again
yet still, i need you as my friend?
well, i don't
you have this whiney charm about you
expecting things to always be okay
and well, they aren't
you're the sweetest bitch i know
and it's about time to let go
and grow
grow from loving you and loosing you
grow from needing you and despising you
grow..from getting over you
it'd be a perfect world
if we could ~both~ grow
but things can never be perfect
and this is where i let go |
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(2 whatyousaids | i dont care) |
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| 06:53pm 02/10/2002 |
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mood:  lethargic music: thevoicesinmyheadgoroundandround
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so..things are not much different. just been in somewhat of an odd mood lately. i had a pretty decent night last night. (minus my attempt to do gymnastics and falling into a bunch of sticky,stinging,sandspur things..i have painful red dots all over me) but yeah, that's probably the best thing that's happened to me in a while. i've still been writing quite a bit. when i feel more motivated i'll consider posting some. i think the world is spinning really,really fast and i'm just standing here..and every time it stops briefly..i get sick and then cry..kind of like getting off that gravitron ride at a carnival. *shrug* |
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(i dont care) |
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| a few days back |
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| 03:29am 20/09/2002 |
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mood: awake
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it's the day after the day
marking a one year anniversary
for the day that will forever be in history
marked tragedy
and i'm wondering where you are
are you flying?are you crying?
are you laughing?are smashing-
walls of plaster
hoping that the pain, the misery
will just fade off faster?
are you giving blood and cash
to those in need
because you ~need~ to show your patriotism?
are you drinking down a toast to those who are dead?
and on your drunken drive you you expect to safely find your bed
this country's cock is as big as your escalade(sp?)
and our "man in charge" shows his cockiness as if
he were "in charge" of the fucking universe
while sporting the intellect of a house fly
flags are hung on every street corner
while across the ocean bombs are dropping
killing more than the govt' would care to mention
and some of us hang our heads,sigh,and wonder why
this is America, the U.S.ofA.
that of red,white,and blue
fighting for peace?
fighting for you? |
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(i dont care) |
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suckonrock's journal
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